THE FOURTH STATEHow do I make a new habit stick?
Why do habits you know are good for you fail to stick? On day two of her 60-day meditation training, Bailey Guilloud says the missing piece is your story, not strategy. She has you write your why, a date 60 days out, and a real penalty for quitting. She adds that about 96% of our thoughts repeat daily, and that returning to the breath exposes them.
Hosted by Bailey Guilloud · The Fourth State Podcast
Bailey Guilloud combines three things: a story of why the habit matters to you, a concrete time-based target (the date 60 days from today), and something real on the line if you don't follow through, such as running 15 miles or paying a fine.
Bailey uses making your bed as the example. It needs no strategy, yet without a story that says “this is how I act every single day,” you won't do it. She calls story the most important part of building a habit that changes your life.
Bailey teaches unguided practice so the skill is available in the middle of a meeting with a high-pressure situation, in traffic, or on a walk with your eyes open. You watch your breath, return to it when a thought arises, and relax your body and mind.
Bailey says we have about 96% of the same thoughts we had yesterday. Returning to the breath increases your awareness of those thoughts and the stories behind them, so you can break free from subconscious patterns.
She calls it one of the most undisputed best things you can do for yourself: a way to align with your most authentic self, strengthen your mental capacity, and tune into a relaxed nervous system.
Meditation and embodied practice, Nervous-system regulation and presence
Day 2 of the free 60-day training, about 8 minutes. The instruction is unchanged from day one, and the episode is paired with a 10-minute music recording for practice.
Transcript of The Fourth State Podcast episode “Your Story Will Change Your Life - Meditation Training Day 2/60” with host Bailey Guilloud, lightly edited for readability. Learn more about Bailey’s work at fourthstate.net.
This is day 2 of the 60 day meditation training. And today we're going to talk about your story. Everyone has a story, right? Everyone has a different story with how they relate with the world, with their everyday life. And I want you to ask yourself, what is your particular story with meditation? What is your particular story with sitting down silently and watching your breath? What is your story? What have you been telling yourself? What are the beliefs that you have? Is it hard for you? Is it something that you dread?
Is it something that's easy for you? Is it something that you haven't been consistent with? Ask yourself. What is your story? Because this is the most important part of building a habit that changes your life. And it's understanding this story that can help you actually break free of the thing that you have been telling yourself. What's so interesting about the subconscious mind and how our mind works is that we have about 96% of the same thoughts that we did yesterday. And this is why meditation is so powerful is because we are able to see what those thoughts are.
You'll notice in the training yesterday, the instructions are simple. Watch your breath and anytime a thought comes up, return your attention back to your breath. And it's that return that increases your awareness of what thoughts you've been having. What stories have you been telling yourself? And so you'll notice as you continue to do this on the 60 day journey, you're not only going to relax in your body, you're also going to become more familiar with the consistent stories that you tell yourself. So that you can break free from these subconscious thoughts, the 96% of the same thoughts that you had as yesterday.
How interesting is that? And so before we get into more of the strategy, before we get into more of the science, I want you to really recognize how important your story is with this. What is the story you've been telling yourself? And what is the story that you want to have with meditation? How do you want to hold yourself through this 60 day experience? What do you want to believe about it? And I want to give you an example of why story is so important. Let's take something super simple, like making your bed every morning.
So this act is so simple, and a lot of people say that this is an incredibly good thing for your mental health for your productivity because it helps you be able to complete something first thing in the morning. This is something that is so influenced by your story. Like, you don't need a strategy to make your bed. It's very simple. You just pull the covers up. You pull the pillows in their place. There's a million different ways to make your bed, but if you don't have a story that tells you, this is what I'm going to do, this is how I act every single day.
This is my habit that I have every single day. Then you're not going to do it. And so what is your story? What is your why? We will talk about more of the science and the next training. We'll talk about more of the spirituality and upcoming trainings. And if that is your story of why you're motivated, lean into that. Because all of these, this is one of the most undisputed best things that you can do for yourself. We're seeing it in scientific studies, we're seeing it in spiritual studies. This is a way to align with your most authentic self.
This is a way to strengthen your mental capacity. This is a way to tune into a relaxed nervous system from a scientific standpoint. But what is the why for you? Is it that you just want to see what's possible and you're ready to play the game of life? Is it that you're ready to see how this interacts with your body? Why is it important to you? Is it that you want to see how this impacts your focus at work? What is it for you that is so important in building this meditation practice? Let that be the guiding light through all of this.
And write this down too, because if you write it down, you're more likely to remember it, you're more likely to stick to it. And I want you to write your story as well as the date 60 days from today. 60 days from today, write your story, write the date, and what you wish to accomplish with this meditation practice. And put something on the line too. If you don't complete this meditation practice, what do you have to do? Put something real on the line. Perhaps it's that, oh, you have to run 15 miles on that day or perhaps it's, you know, that you have to pay a fine.
Perhaps it's that, you, I don't know, find something that you would really dislike doing. That is kind of your, if you don't follow through on this 60 day meditation training, then you will do that. Your repercussion. And let this be the thing, part of your story. I mean, if this resonates because we need to have something that is, number one, a concrete time, based example of this, and also something that's on the line. So we're not only introducing why it's important to you with your story, but we're also introducing a, you know, if you don't do it, then you have to pay the price.
So what is your story? What is the price you'll pay? What is the date, 60 days from today? And the instruction today is the same as yesterday, watch your breath, notice your inhale, notice your exhale, and anytime you find yourself thinking a different thought, pull yourself back to the breath. And I'm going to include a 10 minute music recording. This whole practice, this whole training, is not here to have you guys continuously listening to guided prompts, to guided meditations. This whole training is here to teach you how to meditate on your own.
And I want to explain why it's important for me to teach it this way. Because I want you to be able to meditate while you're in traffic. I want you to be able to meditate while you're in the middle of a meeting with a high pressure situation. You can't rely on these guided meditations all the time. And I want you guys to build something that's a lifelong skill. A very, very simple meditation practice that you do every single day that you don't need a recording for, that you have a specific training for and can go to at any point, even if your eyes are open, even if you're in the middle of a walk, even if you're in the middle of screaming in chaos environment, you have a skill that you can go back to and relax your body and relax your mind.
So, go to the recording. The instructions are there. It is simply to watch your breath, noticing the inhale, noticing the exhale, anytime a thought arises, coming back to the breath.